value every minute you have there because it goes by so fast...

ending...

i tried to decide how i should write this ending to an extraordinary adventure...I decided to just conclude this blog by cutting and pasting my final report...this report has parts of my blog incorporated into it...

Megan Atkins

May 8, 2012

NGO Final Report

This morning I awoke like usual, super early and to a pitch black room knowing that the faint rooster calls were soon going to be closer to my window. As I lay in my bed under my mosquito net, my mind began to wonder what it will be like to find myself back in the US in a week. I imagined waking to a warm spring morning with my fiancé and Labrodoodle by my side and going about my everyday life, encountering far fewer smiles than I have become accumstomed  to here in Chilangomia. I began to ponder the experiences of my time here in Malawi as a Manager in Training (MIT). I feel I have achieved my personal goals; experienced the local culture, and experiencing first-hand the projects that my company supports. There’s no doubt,  I will have lingering thoughts on what the future holds for the children of Malawi. These children have taught me so much in the last three months. They have reminded me that life itself is much more precious than anything else could or would ever be, and to never take it for granted. I have had the honor to work and observe these children day-after-day and week-after-week. I have watched many of them battle a sickness or disease without much medical assistance. But, no matter how acute the illness may be, these miraculous children still wear smiles that would melt Lambert Glacier in a second.

 All of these thoughts suddenly overwhelmed me, and I started to feel a little anxiety. This anxiety was brought on by the thought of losing my own sense of purpose, not knowing where to fit in. While in Chilangomia I have grumbled and disputed about, and often disbelieved the effectiveness of my work, and of “the help” in general, I don’t think many of I have regularly woken without a sense of being somehow desired and valued. This sense of purpose may be misplaced, perhaps artificially preserved by our status as“white people,” our sense of “knowing what should be done," being part of a larger organization, or a vague notion that I  maybe “helping”, somehow. At some level, I can always feel that I have a “mission”. This sense of being needed is of course frequently bruised, usually when our Malawian employees and employers seem to ignore, forget, resist or undermine what we suggest, and then we become frustrated and left with our hands-tied. I came here in hopes to help the development of sustainable living. This is not uncommon. It is then, that I turn to my other important source of feeling part of something and of having a place. I moan and rant with what used to be just a fellow DI's, but now have become friends. Our social networks here, formed early on but always flexible and welcoming, are powerful sources of support and identity in this odd situation. Volunteers are always an eclectic cluster of people from all over the world. I have acknowledged the fact that since we are all from such diverse backgrounds that we would never have gotten to know each other or even become friends under ordinary circumstances. Living in an extraordinary place with no support from a familiar source, with a new culture, language and challenges to face, is hardly a normal circumstance. All of the superficial differences between DI’s are overshadowed by our common predicament and goals. So we end up supporting each other in an unusually open and inclusive way, knowing that we rely on and need one another. Friendship and trust are assumed, and freely given. On the flip side, tensions can also intensify in this pressure-cooked environment, with resulting flare-ups and fallouts.  One thing I have grown accustom to, is “looking-out for myself”, there have been a few incidents that have occurred while I have been in Malawi. I recall one time, I had to defend my country. I found myself explaining what was seen on the big screen was false, and had no correlation with "real life" in the states. 

 I had a fellow DI that neglected to take care of her own health, and that in turn put other’s health at risk. Volunteers are all slightly unusual individuals perhaps, but we all have chosen the same path. This path reminds me of a poem, “The Road Not Taken”, written by one of my favorite poets’ Robert Frost. Frost describes his courage by saying “…and I - / I took the one less traveled by, / and that has made all the difference.” (Frost 18-20). I think the reasoning behind this occurrence is the missing puzzle piece we all sometimes struggle to find. To me this poem weighs heavy with truth when making life decisions, and to have the courage to be able to be an individual and look back and understand why we made the decisions we did. The DI’s and I had the courage to travel across the world, and come face-to-face with poverty and diseases; with the hope to try and mobilize the local people to develop a sustainable living. We have had many nightly discussions on “what our purpose really was here”.  The outcomes varied from discussion-to-discussion because of new experiences we had encountered in-between. We sometimes struggled with coming to terms with why we chose this path of risking our own health while trying to help develop the people of Malawi; this discussion was always the result of a fellow DI falling sick with one of the local diseases such as “malaria”.  In the end, we are all very conscious and are able to look back and understand why we chose this path.

The “Warm Heart of Africa” will always have a special place in my heart. This experience has made me change the way I look at the world. I now have an understanding of what poverty and disease really are. Also, I feel that I’m not so narrow-minded when it comes to what really matters in life. My first hand experiences in Malawi are going to be very beneficial in my new position as a Territory Manager. I hope to educate the citizens in the U.S. on how we can “help” the development of a sustainable living in Malawi. I want to enlighten them on how recycling; clothing, shoes and handbags are not only beneficial to the environment in the U.S. but, it will also give the Malawian’s hope for being able to have a better future. Also, by collecting and reselling the recycled textiles allows us to support the training of teachers, small-scale farming, Child Aid community development, vocational training and the combat against HIV/Aids.

One of the many things that I will miss when I leave this exquisite country, the free time I have to reflect on my day. I’m not consumed by the fast paced lifestyle in the U.S. like; getting off of work and hopping onto the interstate to drive home, trying to return emails and phone calls, finding time to walk my dog, clean the house, laundry, and spending time with my fiancé. This reflection time has allowed me to really enjoy and cherish each special moment of every day. I know I’m not here long enough to follow-up, and see if I have made an impact...and if the children are remembering everything I attempted to teach them. One thing is for sure though; I will remember everything they have taught me for the rest of my life…

Robert Frost describes his courage by saying "... and I— / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference." (Frost 18 -20).

i have had what the doctor thinks to be the flu since tuesday...i have been on med's since then and i thought i was starting to feel better...this morning i woke-up feeling better than yesterday but by mid-day i have found myself back in my bed...i have spent the majority of the week in my bed and this morning when i washed my pj's that i have been wearing all week and my sheets i was feeling positive that i was also washing away this sickness...the only positive outcome of this is that my pj's and sheets are clean! i had already planned-on going to the hospital on monday for my last full blood test so if i'm not feeling better by then hopefully the doctor can figure-out what's wrong with me and give me some meds for it...i had hoped i would be able to enjoy my last two weeks here but with one week down and one to go i'm not so sure...i have a really long flight back to the US and hope to be as healthy as possible before i get on that plane!!

i have started writing my final report...i hope to have it finished in the next few days...since i have been in my bed all week i have had some blurred time (because of the medicine i've been taking) to reflect on my experiences here...for some reason my ALL TIME FAVORITE poem popped into my head...it has been my favorite poem for as long as i can remember...


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

...Robert Frost

i  think the reasoning behind this occurrence is the missing puzzle piece we all sometimes struggle to find...to me this poem weighs heavy with truth when making life decisions and to have the courage to be able to be an individual and look back and understand why we made the decisions we did...

meeting the families

The preschools were still closed last week so we decided to spend Thursday and Friday visiting the supervisor’s homes and meeting their families. I went with another preschool DI on Wednesday afternoon to Vomba Market to get stuff to make lunch for both days. The DI’s and I had agreed that we would need rice, beans, avocados, tomatoes, onions and, bread for both days. We felt it would be nice to bring stuff so that we could make lunch with the supervisors and their families…the supervisors have become like family to the three of us…we always say that they are our new grandpas’…both days were incredible…we enjoyed being introduce to their families and learning a few cooking tricks as well…the first day we went to Shake’s house….

this was a cool building that we passed on the way to Shake's house

Shake's wife showing us how she cooks beans and tomatoes

Shake's family minus his 14 year old daughter...speaking-of, while we were there a man came up to his house with 6 goats...all the goats started going into Shake's house...I started to walk-over to stop the goats from going-in his house but I looked at him and stopped...after the guy walked away I asked him "why are there goats in your house" he explained to me that they have to keep them in the house or someone will steal them at night...he then showed me the 'goat's bedroom...I asked him where his daughter slept and he pointing to the living room...so I was joking with him that afternoon about him having a bedroom for his goats but not his daughter...

relaxing after a great lunch with the other preschool DI's and Shake's wife

 on Friday we went to Fredison's house and met his beautiful family...

if the world had more Fredison's in it...it would be a much happier place

one of my favorite pastimes in Malawi, sharing stories with each other about our cultures to everyday living

I have been waiting to give these two shirts to two special people in Malawi...Fredison and his wife were the perfect two...my fiance and I are huge rivals when it comes to college sports in the US. I'm a UNC TARHEEL fan and he is a NC STATE fan so we have what you would call a "divided house"

magnificent day...

easter sunday at manyea orphanage

I spent Easter Sunday at Manyea Orphanage learning about the Malawian culture and playing soccer...

passing out the donated soccer equipment from Eurosport's "PASSBACK" program

headman of the village loved his "PASSBACK" shirt

magical day...

learning how to cook traditional Malawian food

organizing our soccer teams

the soccer match was tied so we had to take pks (thank goodness mine went-in)

everyone from the neighboring villages came to watch our soccer match

easter lunch

these dancers were awesome!

an Easter i will never forget!

TTD Part 2

i taught the teachers a very common game from my mother country (USA) i taught them the hokey pokey...it's an educational game that allows the children to dance around (literally)

 

at the end of the day, we were all exhausted but it gives us a deep sense of contentment...

TTD Part 1

We had an awesome teacher training day last Friday…It was a religious holiday (Good Friday ) so we only had 65 teachers out of 90 show-up…we were hoping all of the teachers would be able attend but understood why the 28 didn’t…having the new DI’s there made a world of difference…one of the DI’s is still recovering from malaria so she didn’t teach a lesson but helped us tremendously throughout the day…

DI sandra from chile

it's always nice to be able to spend time with the teachers outside of the preschools...it gives us all a chance to get to know them...many of them bring their small children with them to TTD because they are to small to be without their mothers or the mothers dont have someone to watch them...the babies and small children are very well behaved here in Malawi...i have a feeling that if we were holding a TTD in the states the children who accompanied their mothers might not have been so well behaved...

the cooks on campus preparing the rice and beans for the teachers

 i have always wanted to see what it felt like to carry a baby on my back like all of the mothers and even children do here in Malawi...i told one of the preschool supervisors about this and he immediately went-up to one of the mothers (who had twins) and told her about my desire...she happily brought one of her twins to me and wrapped him in a (chitenje) on my back...she used two different chitenjes to secure her 3 month old son...

he was so precious and didnt cry once...

i carried him on my back for about 45 mins

i graciously gave him back after he peed on me