value every minute you have there because it goes by so fast...

ending...

i tried to decide how i should write this ending to an extraordinary adventure...I decided to just conclude this blog by cutting and pasting my final report...this report has parts of my blog incorporated into it...

Megan Atkins

May 8, 2012

NGO Final Report

This morning I awoke like usual, super early and to a pitch black room knowing that the faint rooster calls were soon going to be closer to my window. As I lay in my bed under my mosquito net, my mind began to wonder what it will be like to find myself back in the US in a week. I imagined waking to a warm spring morning with my fiancé and Labrodoodle by my side and going about my everyday life, encountering far fewer smiles than I have become accumstomed  to here in Chilangomia. I began to ponder the experiences of my time here in Malawi as a Manager in Training (MIT). I feel I have achieved my personal goals; experienced the local culture, and experiencing first-hand the projects that my company supports. There’s no doubt,  I will have lingering thoughts on what the future holds for the children of Malawi. These children have taught me so much in the last three months. They have reminded me that life itself is much more precious than anything else could or would ever be, and to never take it for granted. I have had the honor to work and observe these children day-after-day and week-after-week. I have watched many of them battle a sickness or disease without much medical assistance. But, no matter how acute the illness may be, these miraculous children still wear smiles that would melt Lambert Glacier in a second.

 All of these thoughts suddenly overwhelmed me, and I started to feel a little anxiety. This anxiety was brought on by the thought of losing my own sense of purpose, not knowing where to fit in. While in Chilangomia I have grumbled and disputed about, and often disbelieved the effectiveness of my work, and of “the help” in general, I don’t think many of I have regularly woken without a sense of being somehow desired and valued. This sense of purpose may be misplaced, perhaps artificially preserved by our status as“white people,” our sense of “knowing what should be done," being part of a larger organization, or a vague notion that I  maybe “helping”, somehow. At some level, I can always feel that I have a “mission”. This sense of being needed is of course frequently bruised, usually when our Malawian employees and employers seem to ignore, forget, resist or undermine what we suggest, and then we become frustrated and left with our hands-tied. I came here in hopes to help the development of sustainable living. This is not uncommon. It is then, that I turn to my other important source of feeling part of something and of having a place. I moan and rant with what used to be just a fellow DI's, but now have become friends. Our social networks here, formed early on but always flexible and welcoming, are powerful sources of support and identity in this odd situation. Volunteers are always an eclectic cluster of people from all over the world. I have acknowledged the fact that since we are all from such diverse backgrounds that we would never have gotten to know each other or even become friends under ordinary circumstances. Living in an extraordinary place with no support from a familiar source, with a new culture, language and challenges to face, is hardly a normal circumstance. All of the superficial differences between DI’s are overshadowed by our common predicament and goals. So we end up supporting each other in an unusually open and inclusive way, knowing that we rely on and need one another. Friendship and trust are assumed, and freely given. On the flip side, tensions can also intensify in this pressure-cooked environment, with resulting flare-ups and fallouts.  One thing I have grown accustom to, is “looking-out for myself”, there have been a few incidents that have occurred while I have been in Malawi. I recall one time, I had to defend my country. I found myself explaining what was seen on the big screen was false, and had no correlation with "real life" in the states. 

 I had a fellow DI that neglected to take care of her own health, and that in turn put other’s health at risk. Volunteers are all slightly unusual individuals perhaps, but we all have chosen the same path. This path reminds me of a poem, “The Road Not Taken”, written by one of my favorite poets’ Robert Frost. Frost describes his courage by saying “…and I - / I took the one less traveled by, / and that has made all the difference.” (Frost 18-20). I think the reasoning behind this occurrence is the missing puzzle piece we all sometimes struggle to find. To me this poem weighs heavy with truth when making life decisions, and to have the courage to be able to be an individual and look back and understand why we made the decisions we did. The DI’s and I had the courage to travel across the world, and come face-to-face with poverty and diseases; with the hope to try and mobilize the local people to develop a sustainable living. We have had many nightly discussions on “what our purpose really was here”.  The outcomes varied from discussion-to-discussion because of new experiences we had encountered in-between. We sometimes struggled with coming to terms with why we chose this path of risking our own health while trying to help develop the people of Malawi; this discussion was always the result of a fellow DI falling sick with one of the local diseases such as “malaria”.  In the end, we are all very conscious and are able to look back and understand why we chose this path.

The “Warm Heart of Africa” will always have a special place in my heart. This experience has made me change the way I look at the world. I now have an understanding of what poverty and disease really are. Also, I feel that I’m not so narrow-minded when it comes to what really matters in life. My first hand experiences in Malawi are going to be very beneficial in my new position as a Territory Manager. I hope to educate the citizens in the U.S. on how we can “help” the development of a sustainable living in Malawi. I want to enlighten them on how recycling; clothing, shoes and handbags are not only beneficial to the environment in the U.S. but, it will also give the Malawian’s hope for being able to have a better future. Also, by collecting and reselling the recycled textiles allows us to support the training of teachers, small-scale farming, Child Aid community development, vocational training and the combat against HIV/Aids.

One of the many things that I will miss when I leave this exquisite country, the free time I have to reflect on my day. I’m not consumed by the fast paced lifestyle in the U.S. like; getting off of work and hopping onto the interstate to drive home, trying to return emails and phone calls, finding time to walk my dog, clean the house, laundry, and spending time with my fiancé. This reflection time has allowed me to really enjoy and cherish each special moment of every day. I know I’m not here long enough to follow-up, and see if I have made an impact...and if the children are remembering everything I attempted to teach them. One thing is for sure though; I will remember everything they have taught me for the rest of my life…

Robert Frost describes his courage by saying "... and I— / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference." (Frost 18 -20).

i have had what the doctor thinks to be the flu since tuesday...i have been on med's since then and i thought i was starting to feel better...this morning i woke-up feeling better than yesterday but by mid-day i have found myself back in my bed...i have spent the majority of the week in my bed and this morning when i washed my pj's that i have been wearing all week and my sheets i was feeling positive that i was also washing away this sickness...the only positive outcome of this is that my pj's and sheets are clean! i had already planned-on going to the hospital on monday for my last full blood test so if i'm not feeling better by then hopefully the doctor can figure-out what's wrong with me and give me some meds for it...i had hoped i would be able to enjoy my last two weeks here but with one week down and one to go i'm not so sure...i have a really long flight back to the US and hope to be as healthy as possible before i get on that plane!!

i have started writing my final report...i hope to have it finished in the next few days...since i have been in my bed all week i have had some blurred time (because of the medicine i've been taking) to reflect on my experiences here...for some reason my ALL TIME FAVORITE poem popped into my head...it has been my favorite poem for as long as i can remember...


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

...Robert Frost

i  think the reasoning behind this occurrence is the missing puzzle piece we all sometimes struggle to find...to me this poem weighs heavy with truth when making life decisions and to have the courage to be able to be an individual and look back and understand why we made the decisions we did...

meeting the families

The preschools were still closed last week so we decided to spend Thursday and Friday visiting the supervisor’s homes and meeting their families. I went with another preschool DI on Wednesday afternoon to Vomba Market to get stuff to make lunch for both days. The DI’s and I had agreed that we would need rice, beans, avocados, tomatoes, onions and, bread for both days. We felt it would be nice to bring stuff so that we could make lunch with the supervisors and their families…the supervisors have become like family to the three of us…we always say that they are our new grandpas’…both days were incredible…we enjoyed being introduce to their families and learning a few cooking tricks as well…the first day we went to Shake’s house….

this was a cool building that we passed on the way to Shake's house

Shake's wife showing us how she cooks beans and tomatoes

Shake's family minus his 14 year old daughter...speaking-of, while we were there a man came up to his house with 6 goats...all the goats started going into Shake's house...I started to walk-over to stop the goats from going-in his house but I looked at him and stopped...after the guy walked away I asked him "why are there goats in your house" he explained to me that they have to keep them in the house or someone will steal them at night...he then showed me the 'goat's bedroom...I asked him where his daughter slept and he pointing to the living room...so I was joking with him that afternoon about him having a bedroom for his goats but not his daughter...

relaxing after a great lunch with the other preschool DI's and Shake's wife

 on Friday we went to Fredison's house and met his beautiful family...

if the world had more Fredison's in it...it would be a much happier place

one of my favorite pastimes in Malawi, sharing stories with each other about our cultures to everyday living

I have been waiting to give these two shirts to two special people in Malawi...Fredison and his wife were the perfect two...my fiance and I are huge rivals when it comes to college sports in the US. I'm a UNC TARHEEL fan and he is a NC STATE fan so we have what you would call a "divided house"

magnificent day...

easter sunday at manyea orphanage

I spent Easter Sunday at Manyea Orphanage learning about the Malawian culture and playing soccer...

passing out the donated soccer equipment from Eurosport's "PASSBACK" program

headman of the village loved his "PASSBACK" shirt

magical day...

learning how to cook traditional Malawian food

organizing our soccer teams

the soccer match was tied so we had to take pks (thank goodness mine went-in)

everyone from the neighboring villages came to watch our soccer match

easter lunch

these dancers were awesome!

an Easter i will never forget!

TTD Part 2

i taught the teachers a very common game from my mother country (USA) i taught them the hokey pokey...it's an educational game that allows the children to dance around (literally)

 

at the end of the day, we were all exhausted but it gives us a deep sense of contentment...

TTD Part 1

We had an awesome teacher training day last Friday…It was a religious holiday (Good Friday ) so we only had 65 teachers out of 90 show-up…we were hoping all of the teachers would be able attend but understood why the 28 didn’t…having the new DI’s there made a world of difference…one of the DI’s is still recovering from malaria so she didn’t teach a lesson but helped us tremendously throughout the day…

DI sandra from chile

it's always nice to be able to spend time with the teachers outside of the preschools...it gives us all a chance to get to know them...many of them bring their small children with them to TTD because they are to small to be without their mothers or the mothers dont have someone to watch them...the babies and small children are very well behaved here in Malawi...i have a feeling that if we were holding a TTD in the states the children who accompanied their mothers might not have been so well behaved...

the cooks on campus preparing the rice and beans for the teachers

 i have always wanted to see what it felt like to carry a baby on my back like all of the mothers and even children do here in Malawi...i told one of the preschool supervisors about this and he immediately went-up to one of the mothers (who had twins) and told her about my desire...she happily brought one of her twins to me and wrapped him in a (chitenje) on my back...she used two different chitenjes to secure her 3 month old son...

he was so precious and didnt cry once...

i carried him on my back for about 45 mins

i graciously gave him back after he peed on me

lemon grass

I am pleased to say that the two DI’s that had malaria are both feeling much better now!! J

This week and last week the schools have been closed because everyone is harvesting their maze “what we call corn”…so i have been working with the other DI’s and the preschool supervisors to organize meetings…we have been traveling to each preschool and meeting with the headman or headwoman of the village to arrange a meeting with the community…our plan of action is to get the community, preschool teachers and, students’ parents to all come to these meetings…our objective of the meetings is to discuss income generation for the preschools… we used this month’s preschool budget to buy seeds for each preschool to have a vegetable garden…these gardens are to be prepared and tended to by the community in each village…after they have prepared the gardens we will then give them seeds to plant…our ultimate goal is  for each  community to grow these vegetables and take them to their village markets and sale them…with the money they make they can buy porridge, sugar, soap and  school supplies…

Also, this week we have been working on preparing the TTD that is going to be held on Friday…we were unable to have it in March on account of the students being on campus taking exams…so we will be having two TTD’s this month…we have been doing everything from making budgets, sending invitation letters, finding cooks, shopping and preparing the lessons …I have to say it’s very nice having the other DI’s here to help with all of these task!!!!

The weather has been amazing this past week…it started getting cooler on Sunday and has been raining every day since…the last two days I have had to wear my Patagonia fleece, long sleeve shirt, long pants (I wear them every day anyways) and socks and boots…I woke-up two nights ago shivering from the cool air…the cool air has given all of us a much needed break from the heat…I asked one of the supervisors how long this nice weather will last and he replied “you must be crazy this is not nice weather” he then explained to me that next week it will start warming-up again.  All of the DI’s and I have been enjoying making lemon grass tea during this weather. We have lemon grass plants by the papaya trees (which I have become obsessed with, I eat a fresh papaya every day) right next to where we all live. My roommate and I use fresh honey in our tea that he bought in a village he passed through last week. The honey is still in the honey comb and still has bees in it (dead bees)….the citrus aroma from the lemon grass has filled all of our apartments for the last few days…

they too are huge, just like the avocados

a long night in the hospital (is an understatement)

On Monday I opted to not write about a fellow DI who lives right across from me who found out she had malaria…but now that another DI has malaria I feel obligated to…a DI started feeling sick Monday morning and was taken to the hospital and given a malaria test…her test came back positive and she and had to spend the night in the hospital to have treatment…she had level 1 malaria…the levels of malaria are 1-5 (5 being the deadliest)…

Malaria is caused by a parasite that is passed from one human to another by the bite of infected Anopheles mosquitoes. After infection, the parasites (called sporozoites) travel through the bloodstream to the liver, where they mature and release another form, the merozoites. The parasites enter the bloodstream and infect red blood cells. The parasites multiply inside the red blood cells, which then break open within 48 to 72 hours, infecting more red blood cells. The first symptoms usually occur 10 days to 4 weeks after infection, though they can appear as early as 8 days or as long as a year after infection. The symptoms occur in cycles of 48 to 72 hours. Malaria is a parasitic disease that involves shaking chills, high fevers, and flu-like symptoms. The symptoms we were told to look for were chills, fever, vomiting, muscle pain (usually in an uncommon place) headache, not being able to sleep, diarrhea and, bloody stools. Malaria level 4 & 5 people sometimes fall into a comma…

The DI spent the night in hospital and had to have a treatment in an IV drip…the treatment was Qualaquin (quinine) and Glucose mixed together…the Quinine is super strong and has some extreme side effects… fever, chills, confusion, weakness, sweating, severe vomiting, stomach pain, diarrhea, problems with vision or hearing (they say your ears start ringing and they continue to ring for a period of time)…you receive just a bag of glucose in an IV after you have completed the bag of Quinine & Glucose…it depends what level of malaria you have for how many treatments of Quinine & Glucose you will receive…the DI had a bad reaction (but the doctors said a very common reaction) to the treatment…she threw-up for almost 12 hours straight, had awful headaches, her ears were ringing and she was sweating profusely …she came back to campus on Tuesday afternoon and she looked horrible! She was given tablets to take for a few days and then she can start taking her malaria med’s again…(we all are supposed to take one pill a day)  she just started to feel better yesterday and finally has an appetite again…I spoke with her yesterday and she said it was the worst experience she has ever had…


Another DI started to feel a little bad on Thursday (she lives a few steps from me)…she has only been here for 10 days but we were all advised to react if we ever feel a little off…I volunteered to go to the hospital with her for a malaria test, and I figured I might as well get one too since I was going to be there…so we both just grabbed a jacket and hoped into the car and went to the hospital…it was a little crowded and since it was her first trip to the hospital it took longer than usually for her to be tested…I took the malaria test and my came back negative…we waited for her test and when the guy walked-out he looked at her and said you must see a Dr. right away…we both looked at each other and started thinking the worst…so she was called into the Dr.’s office and I went with her…he told her that her test was positive and that she had level 2… she told the Dr. that she hadn’t been taking her Malaria med’s everyday…she had been taking them every other day…i dismissed this at the time and was more worried about her getting better..
After filling-out some forms and having a visit from the supervisor she was then placed in the ER to start her treatment…since I had accompanied her to the hospital I too had to stay the night in the hospital to look after her and help her if she needed it…it wasn’t so bad at first…

I walked to a nearby bakery (one of my favorite places in Blantyre) and used the money the school gave us to by us dinner and some amazing (American Brownies)…that was what they called them…anyways I returned to the ER and she was in an area that had a bed and a trash can…the bed still had dirty sheets on it from the last patient and what seemed to be another malaria treat IV bag that was half-in & half-out of the trash can (and this is the nicest hospital in Blantyre)…

So we both ate a little and gave what was left to the nurse who quickly snatched it from us with a BIG smile…she was really funny about it!! they started to put the needle in her hand for the IV and the moan she let-out sent shivers-up my spine…we were then moved to the hospital ward and into a tiny room…these rooms have two (patient) beds, no mosquito nets on the windows just over the two beds and it was about 10 degrees hotter in the room than it was outside…i let-out a heavy sigh and helped my friend into her bed…the supervisor later returned with a mattress and a blanket and a sheet for me to sleep on for the night…the floor was so nasty! I set-up my bed and started to notice the color changing in my friends face a little bit…from what the doctor had said she soon was going to start feeling the side effects from the Quinine & Glucose…I had to help her get in and out of her bed a few times to go to the bathroom and hold her Quinine & Glucose bag while she did…an hour or so later she started freezing and shaking…so I covered her in the blanket from the other bed and gave her my sheet too…then she threw-up a few times and I held her hair for her and the bucket…she finally was able to fall asleep…

As I laid down on the mattress, I gazed-up at her Quinine & Glucose drip and just watched the drip for a while…it was so incredible hot in that room and I had to close the windows because I didn’t have a mosquito net to cover me while I slept…the noise from the hospital and knowing that I was sleeping on a dirty hospital floor kept me from sleeping a wink…I had to finally open a window because the smell of her vomit was smothering me (they didn’t remove the vomit bucket until the next morning)…I then broke-out into a mental panic worrying about getting bit by a mosquito here because there are some many malaria infected people at the hospital…

I tried to com myself by counting the shadows of people who walked by until I saw a few roaches crawl across the floor…I then turned over and mentally tried to find a happy place…so I envisioned getting off the plane the first week in May and jumping into my fiancés arms and then walking to the car and being covered in kisses (or licks) from our labradoodle  Nimbin…

I was so happy when the sun began to rise but I found myself very angry…I was mad that the DI neglected to take her Malaria pills every day and had  put me at risk… and that I had to spend a miserable night sleeping on a disgusting hospital floor…I also had a few mosquito bites from the night and God only knows what else I could have caught there…she was feeling fine when she woke-up but the doctor insisted that she stay another night because she needed  another Quinine & Glucose drip since she had level 2 Malaria…when the supervisor got there at 7am I took him outside and told him that I refuse to put my own health at risk for another person's carelessness and stupidity!!!!  another DI came to the hospital to take my place and i returned  to the campus...


I'm really looking forward to visiting the orphanage tomorrow and seeing all of the beautiful children there

english club

The Teacher Training College received its new class for 2012 a few weeks ago and, I was approached by one of the supervisors from the school to teach a club on Tuesday nights from 7pm-9pm. A common meeting was held two Tuesdays ago, with the students and the DI’s to discuss various types of clubs. This meeting gave the students an opportunity to converse with one another about potential clubs they would like for the college to have. The night concluded with the students deciding to have 8 different clubs and, I was elected to teach the English Club (the DI’s here are from Chile, Brazil, Mexico, Bulgaria and, South Korea) so English is a second language to all of them. I was delighted to take on this new task and have the opportunity to work with the college students.

 I had 34 students sign-up to join the English Club. I felt confident as I walked into the first meeting last Tuesday.  I greeted the students “good evening and welcome to English Club” and then they responded “good evening madam” ….boy-o-boy did that make me feel old!! I’m from North Carolina which we call the (south) in the states and we are taught at a very young age to always say “sir and ma’am” when speaking to our elders…it’s just part of the southern etiquette. The proper etiquette in Malawi is to say “sir and madam” when speaking to elders. I started giving the students a little background information on myself and my mother country. I was trying to make eye contact with every student during my introduction and it seemed my words just mystified the class. I asked them “do you guys understand?” and no one replied…then one student raised her hand and said “could you please talk slower” and then the club members broke-out into a quite giggle….I started to giggle too…I knew at that moment,  I was really going to enjoy my Tuesday evenings at  English Club.

English Club met on schedule last night; I was very touched by what the students shared with me and their fellow club members. I started the meeting by going over: verbs, adjectives, nouns and, prepositions. Then I taught them the difference between a formal and informal conversation. I picked a few students to come to the front of the class and give a greeting, introduction and, goodbye in each type of conversation…they had a lot of fun with this activity…

I chose to end the class by reviewing the public speaking lesson that we had at the previous meeting. I would call on a student and he/she would come to the front of the class to just talk about whatever they wanted. A lot of the students are very soft spoken and get really nervous when speaking in front of their peers. When we tried this lesson last Tuesday the students were all very fidgety and would either look down or off into a corner when speaking. I tried reverting back to my public speaking classes that I took in college to help prepare myself for the lesson. I was very delighted to see the club member’s feeling more comfortable as they practiced their public speaking.  Also, I was very moved by how the students chose on their own to speak about their personal lives. I sat back and listened to four different club member’s talk about their families and, a few of them incorporated god into their speeches. One of the speeches that really hit-home was given by a young man who is from Mozambique. Mozambique had been fighting a 16 year civil war that ended in 1992. The country has made much progress in economic development and political stability. About one million people died in that civil war and millions more fled abroad or to other parts of the country.He spent his primary years at a refugee school in Mozambique and then his family moved to Malawi. Listening to the different struggles he and his family encountered during this time period was heartwrenching. I was amazed by how he chose to share these details with the club. All of the English Club members are very appreciative of the opportunity they have been given to go to college... they have set very high goals for themselves….I just met these students last Tuesday and I am already very  impressed by them!!